Monday, July 16, 2007

Market House

With the Mayor in hibernation, AP will now take an examination of the market house--an issue that should have singularly defeated the mayor's re-election campaign, but did not. Today we will ignore the air conditioning situation and focus on the tenant situation.

The original market house, of course, was created by an act of the Maryland General Assembly in 1683.

Umm, was Maryland even a state in 1683?


Answer: no. Kinda' in 1776, but really 1788. So maybe it was the General Assembly of the Royal English Colony of Maryland.

Umm, when was the American Revolution?

(research, etc., so forth, so on, .....)

Answer: revolutionary era began in 1760's. So yes, probably a royal english colony. It appears that I was doodling in my Meade 5-star Trapper Keeper in lieu of paying attention in history class.

Here is my guess as to what occupied the original market house:

-yeomen of the great chamber
-wise sage
-map detailing route to outhouse

Here is a partial list of what is there now:

1. crab cake place
2. italian pastry franchise
3. local bank branch
4. donut franchise
5. soft pretzel mega-franchise
6. irish place
7. pizza place
8. cereal buffet
9. nice bathrooms
10. no starbucks!

Now, clearly we don't expect the place to stay the same. But, even as recently as when I was a teenager, the place had character.

Ten years ago, there was no clear path through the market house and traversing successfully through all of the corners was a source of pride for locals. Today, locals, tourists, and politicians alike are herded like robots to the franchise of their choice via the only thruway.

Ten years ago, a resident or someone working downtown could get comforting food at a good price from a long-standing family vendor. Today that is gone, and you can get a pretzel, a crab cake, or a donut from a highly commercialized franchise.

This is what we waited two years for? This is why we still can't park? Attention Moyer administration: I wish there were no term limits so I could vote you back for another 756 years! (Remember, we are robots, we can live that long.)(Attention Moyer administration: I probably would not vote for you and we really can't live that long, except in Ward 8.)

As it is now the wee hours of July 16 it is now my birthday. In observation of this day, and in recognition of my promise to not speak of the air conditioning situation, this post is over. As I am now 26 years old, I expect to be exponentially better at this blogging exercise than when i was 25, and you lucky folks will reap the benefits!