Friday, August 24, 2007

Police Questions Answered

This fella wrote to The Capital with a lot of questions, and I'm fixin' to give some answers.

There has been much to say about the county police taking second jobs in bars to supplement their income. At the same time, 22 openings for Annapolis police officers have been left unfilled.

This blog's official number of unfilled positions is 23, but your number is within the margin of error. (+ or - 5%, for those of you scoring at home.) Please continue.

Perhaps this is too simplistic....

probably not: most of politics is unnecessarily complicated.

....but why not offer overtime to the (county) officers?

Because the mayor does not cooperate with the county executive.

At least they'd be working in the area most congruent with their skills, would help reduce the lack of police presence in Eastport, and would earn evidently much-needed additional income.

Brilliant. This is an absolutely magical suggestion. Bonus points for using the mathematical term 'congruent' and the rarely used contraction 'they'd' in the same sentence. Bonus points for me for using the word 'contraction'.

While we're at it, how about reducing or eliminating property taxes for police officers who move into high-crime areas?

This also sounds divine.

What happened to the oft-rumored police station in Eastport?

Don't worry my friend...this is in next year's budget: $3,600,000.

Reducing response time couldn't hurt crime statistics.
BRAD BIEBERICH, Annapolis

Well, response time is its own statistic, but we'll ignore your mistake because the rest of your letter was so excellent.

Brad, good work....I won't try to pronounce your last name, but if I see you at a bar, I will buy you a drink.

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